10 Differences Between Keeping Your Relationship Private & Keeping It A Secret

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Lots of couples prefer to keep their love lives quiet and there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you’re doing these things, you might be taking your “privacy” to the extreme by being overly secretive about your relationship.

1. YOU DELIBERATELY AVOID MENTIONING YOUR PARTNER. 

Every story you tell is always about “I” and not “we”… even if your partner was directly involved in the event. It’s normal to want to maintain some autonomy when you’re in a relationship, but when you have to twist and turn the way you speak to make sure that you don’t give away the fact that you’re dating someone, you know exactly what you’re doing and you know that it’s wrong.

2. YOU SAY YOU’RE SINGLE WHEN YOU’RE ASKED ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS.

When someone asks if you’re seeing anyone, no one expects you to whip out a flash drive with a PowerPoint presentation of “The Entire History of Me & My One True Love.” But saying you’re single when you’re not is sketchy as hell. Whether you’re lying to keep the attention of the hottie at the bar or because you worry about what your friends will think, it’s still a lie and your partner probably wouldn’t approve.

3. YOU’RE ACTIVE ON SOCIAL MEDIA BUT THERE’S NO TRACE OF YOUR S.O.

Not everyone puts their entire life on Facebook and Instagram, so it’s understandable that you might not want to upload selfies with #MCM every week. But if you can’t go a day without sharing your thoughts and camera roll with the world, you can’t tell me that it’s just a coincidence that your partner doesn’t even exist according to your social media profiles. Obviously, it’s different if your significant other has specifically asked you not to post about them, but generally speaking, it’s a little weird to write status updates about ingrown hairs but not your live-in boyfriend.

4. NO ONE IN YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE HAS INTERACTED WITH YOUR PARTNER.

If you’ve been dating for a year but they haven’t met your friends or family, why the hell not? Long-distance couples get a pass for this one, but for most serious couples, it’s weird when the people who are closest to you have no physical proof that your partner is a real, flesh-and-blood human being. Maybe it’s really because the circumstances just haven’t been right yet, but if you’ve been a legitimate item for more than a few months, it’s time to ask yourself why you’re hiding your partner from your loved ones.

5. YOU REFER TO YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND USING A MORE PLATONIC TERM.

Do you introduce your romantic partner to your buddies, colleagues, and acquaintances as your “friend?” Do you switch from calling them “babe” to calling them “buddy” as soon as there are people around? If so, you’re being secretive about your relationship. If neither of you is ready to use labels yet, just introduce them by their first name; if someone asks you about your relationship to each other, you can easily say you’re dating to avoid any awkward conversations without downplaying what your partner means to you.

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