10 Ways My Relationship Was Screwed Up That I Didn’t Notice Until After The Breakup

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6. HE DIDN’T WANT PENETRATIVE SEX.

We satisfied each other by thinking outside the box, so to speak. But the one time we tried penetration, which I personally love, it didn’t work. We never tried again and we never talked about it again. Not the way to an awesome sex life.

7. HE WOULDN’T TEXT OR CALL ME FOR DAYS AT A TIME.

Another hangover from my previous relationship—I got severely insecure about not hearing from my significant other after a couple days. All I wanted was a “hi there!” text, Facebook message, something to let me know he was thinking of me. What I got were paragraph-long philosophical dumps once a week or less, or hours-long phone calls just as I was on the cusp of giving up. It was very feast or famine, which just fed my cycle of paranoia. I told myself it was just me and that I should stop worrying about it.

8. HE MADE PLANS WITH FRIENDS WE BOTH KNEW AND LIKED WITHOUT ASKING ME IF I WANTED TO COME ALONG.

It’s embarrassing how many times I stared at this guy’s name in my phone with tears in my eyes wondering if I should call him or not about something. Why wouldn’t he want his girlfriend around when he was with our mutual friends?

9. HE GIFTED ME T-SHIRTS THAT WERE OBVIOUSLY WAY TOO BIG.

They were all cool and nerdy and exactly to my tastes–except they hung on me like elephant skin. And it kept happening, even after I held the first one up to my chest and we both saw it droop. PSA: If you feel awkward asking a lady her size, just sneak a peek at her clothing labels. When we broke up, I gave away an expertly curated collection of nightshirts.

10. HE DIDN’T TELL ME HOW BAD I MADE HIM FEEL UNTIL HE SAID HE DIDN’T LOVE ME ANYMORE.

We fought a lot, and most of it was my fault for not knowing how to handle my insecurities and anger. But I honestly thought we were OK and that we were working things out… until he said something that made me ask, “Do you still love me?” and he said, “Not right now.” I should’ve gotten out then and saved us even more heartbreak.

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