We’d only been dating for about six months, but he was starting to get on my nerves a little bit. While I realize that’s a bit early to leave the honeymoon stage, what I didn’t know was that those little annoyances were indicative of a much bigger problem.
1. HE WAS LOUD.
Had someone increased the volume in here? It felt like every time my ex opened his mouth, he was screaming. I just wanted to be in a quiet place. Maybe it just felt like he was loud because I didn’t have much to say to him anymore so he did most of the talking. Either way, it was obnoxious AF.
2. HE WAS NEEDY.
Well, not really. He just wanted to see me a few times a week and kept pressuring me to spend the weekend at his place. That’s pretty normal, but I just found myself getting really irritable whenever he suggested it. Anything he needed from me felt like it was too much!
3. HE MADE A LOT OF EMPTY PROMISES.
He could see I was irritated around him a lot (read: I was actually moody a lot of the time because I wanted out but hadn’t clicked that that’s what I wanted), so he tried to promise me that he’d be better. For instance, he’d stop spending so much money and he’d stop drinking so much when we went to parties on the weekend. He was trying really hard but I just wasn’t in the mood to hear it.
4. HE KEPT “CHECKING IN.
”This used to infuriate me! He’d check in to see that we were OK. Clearly, he could tell that I wasn’t really present a lot of the time when we were together, and I don’t blame him for being worried that he was losing me, but it just felt like he was a broken record. What made me more irritable was that I always felt guilty for getting mad at him for checking in. Ugh.
5. HE CHEWED TOO LOUDLY.
It never used to bother me before, but now it was all I could hear when we met for lunch. There’s even a word for this irritation that can be triggered by things like loud breathing or loud chewing: misophonia. Interestingly, it didn’t bother me when other people chewed or breathed noisily, only when my partner did.